Red Envelopes
by LxZrulez
Summary: There was a reason Viper looked forward to Chinese New Year—Chinese New Year meant red envelopes, and red envelopes meant more money, and more money meant a happier Viper. Fon agreed, because a happy Viper meant a not-trying-to-kill-Fon Viper, which was always good. But red envelopes aren't the only reasons Viper is in such a good mood on Chinese New Year's Eve…


It was Chinese New Year's eve, and Viper was in a scarily good mood. No one really knew why; Verde thought that she had been on crack, Reborn thought that she had been through much-needed therapy, Colonello and Lal thought that if they turned on the news they would've found several large banks robbed, and Skull thought that she had been possessed. Luce told them all to hush, and that no one needed a reason to be happy.

Viper just ignored their bickering, instead staring blankly at the chandelier that hung above the dining room table. The room had been decorated with red, the table covered with scarlet silk, gold enameled crimson scrolls with beautiful written Chinese characters were covered the walls, and paper lanterns emitting a rosy glow hung from the ceiling. She knew why Fon had gone on a sudden decorating spree that very morning—it was Chinese New Year's eve.

And that, too, was why she was in such a scarily good mood. Because Chinese New Year meant money. And not just _any _money.

_Free _money.

Life was good.

She remembered the first time she had celebrated Chinese New Year. It had been the year of the Rat, five years ago. Fon had accosted her when they were on a mission in China and dragged her out, insisting that she celebrated the holiday with him.

Viper had originally been very reluctant, but they ended up having a good time. He took her to a restaurant and fed her red bean cakes (Fon called them _nian gao_), and then they went to watch the parades. The streets had been packed with people and noise and funny little lion-dragon things prancing around, and everything was a general hubbub. Normally Viper hated crowds and loud places, but for some reason she didn't mind that night.

Later, the fireworks began, and Fon and Viper accompanied several other hundreds and thousands of people in admiring them. And when the sky exploded in a brilliant starburst of light, she had her first kiss.

Her mood had gotten, if possible, even better when Fon gave her a red envelope filled with money, explaining the Chinese tradition. And from then on, Fon and Viper celebrated Chinese New Year together, with the exception of this year. When Fon had suggested that they celebrated with the rest of the Arcobaleno, and Viper just shrugged in response. She didn't care what happened, so long as she got money.

"What's taking so long?!" Skull suddenly wailed, jerking her out of reverie. Viper felt a vein twitch, and was about to send Skull through biological function termination when Reborn did the job for her.

_Bang! _

"Ouch! Stupid senpai!"

"Shut your mouth, lackey."

"Oi, Reborn, kora! There's no need to be such a jerk!"

"You are all idiots. Cease your quibbling."

"Verde, that wasn't very nice!"

"Neither is threatening to kill Skull, Luce."

"You have a point there, Lal-chan."

"Ha, Reborn-senpai! Now that Luce-chan is on my side you wouldn't dare to hurt me—"

_Bang! Bang! Bang!_

_Kaboom! _

"Reborn-kun, Colonello-kun, Fon spent a lot of time decorating! Please stop!"

"I'll stop when Skull stops his mouth, kora!"

"For once, I agree."

"I hope you all kill each other."

"Verde-san!"

"You wanna die too, greenie, kora?!"

The door suddenly swung open, effectively halting the miniature war that would've commenced, and Fon came into the room balancing platters of roast duck, _nian gao, _mandarin oranges, noodles, chicken, and assorted vegetables.

He smiled as he set them down onto the table, practically radiating sunshine. "_Da jia, _please eat up! There is plenty."

Viper just watched as the others dug in, ignoring invitations from Luce and Fon, preferring to hide under her cloak. Somehow she spaced out, and apparently dozed off, because the next thing she knew Fon was shaking her gently. The room was empty—all the idiots must have left. Or died.

Viper hoped it was the latter.

"Viper _xiao jie_," the martial artist said, smiling as she blinked sleepily. "I've given out the other red envelopes. Now I need to give you yours."

Viper watched as he procured from his draping sleeve a pretty ruby-colored packet decorated with golden designs of flowers and a snake. Fon pressed it into her hands, and she finally smiled, reaching into her dark cloak to pull out a red envelope of her own.

She'd been waiting all night for this.

"For you," she told him as he blinked in surprise. And she watched with even more amusement as he took the near empty package, opened it, and found a thin band of gold falling onto his palm.

Fon looked at it, not comprehending at first, and then laughed delightedly. "Viper, I thought the man was supposed to propose?"

Viper just smirked smugly until his large hand caught hers. He took the red envelope he had given her, unfolded the delicate flap, and poured the contents into her hand.

Out tumbled several bills that no doubt amounted to a lot of money. But for once, Viper was not interested in the money, because a beautiful wedding ring fell from between the folds of bills, winking in the light.

Viper couldn't help it; she laughed quietly as Fon pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. "You stupid martial artist," she murmured, unable to sound properly angry. "You made me waste money."

Fon just smiled sweetly as he laced his fingers with hers.

"It is nice to see that we were thinking the same thing," he said, and Viper couldn't help but agree.

**oOoOoOo**

**A/N: **Happy Chinese New Year's, everyone! I hoped you liked it!

For the conversation before Fon entered the room, the order of people talking is: Skull-Reborn-Colonello-Verde-Luce-Lal-Luce-Skull-Luce-Colonello-Reborn-Verde-Luce-Colonello. Just in case you couldn't tell.

Anyway, I heard of someone proposing by putting the ring in a fortune cookie, and when Chinese New Year was coming up, I thought, why not propose via red envelopes? And this happened. XD

(And yeah, Viper did propose. Not that it was entirely necessary, but it's the thought that counts!)

Happy Chinese New Year's, everyone! I hope you guys liked it!

(Oh! I probably wrote the pinyin wrong, but whatever: Gong shi fa cai, hong bao na lai!)


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